it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
