if you like me you must not know who I am
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
