Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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