I hate your face
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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