just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
