just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
