We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
