i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
