you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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