I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize