You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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