before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
