looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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