Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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