I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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