her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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