wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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