I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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