grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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