She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
