any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize