But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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