I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
