where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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