I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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