In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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