I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
