oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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