Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize