How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
