She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
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So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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