I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
