Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
