So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize