Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
