at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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