Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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