id be glad to
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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