im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
