I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
