This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he fucked my hip out of place.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
