But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
