I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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