I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
