I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
