What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
