he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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