I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This toilet bowl is my home.
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