I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize