im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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