So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
