the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
