brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
