I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
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But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
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We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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