Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
