Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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