Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
