Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
