friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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