Nicole vs. Life
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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