addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
