Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
