also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
