I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
